The Parish Counsel

In which we watch Pistorius; listen to Neil Young & his Pono; Rhona Martin talks about bands we didn't expect to like; Juliet Harris worries about Louis Walsh and X Factor; we review The Michael McIntyre Chat Show; & add two effervescent tracks to the Pretend Pono.

In which we... don't watch BBC3; go on a date with Hannah Lawrence; pay Beyonce a million quid; wobble on a Boris Bike; catch up with Hazel O'Connor; & add two igneous tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we go from Loch Lomond to Utah and on to San Francisco; Juliet Harris talks about women on TV; Ripper Street gets re-commissioned - by Amazon; Ever Decreasing Circles is deconstructed and reviewed; and two thermogenic tracks are added to the Pretend iPod.

In which we tuck into Cakegate, Britgate, & Potatogate; stream the Top 40; break hearts on Facebook; review Pound Shop Wars; & add two smoking tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we worry about Davina; give politicians the welly; keep the cigs out of the car; wonder who is buying Queen's Greatest Hits; review 'The Life Of Rock'; and add two tippity-toppity tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we wince at The Big Benefits Row; ponder the future of rent-a-gobs; muse upon 24 hour rolling news; review Inside Number 9; talk to James Stevenson, guitarist to the stars; and add two sunshine filled tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we go to Iceland; discuss the similarities between Prince & Caitlin Moran; say goodbye to the iPod; say hello to LBC; disagree about CBB but agree about The Jump; and add two twerkingly hot tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we polish François Hollande's shoes; suggest no news is good news; kick it out with Stan Collymore; stand bail for Bieber; and add two zippity tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we buy a Hudl and return it; consider whether it is Monsieur Hollande's own affair; take it to the bridge with Chris Christie; review House Of Fools; and add two emotive tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we consider life as a celebrity; drink a cup of Waitrose coffee; buy a copy of the Guardian (on Saturdays only); slow down for a moment; review Benefits Street; and add two ace tracks to the Pretend iPod.