The Parish Counsel

In which we moan about BT & Tesco; cheer for Colin Brazier; calculate percentages at the BBC; uncover the fake Sheikh; review the telly; and add two sonorous tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we consider the cabinet reshuffle and the Daily Mail catwalk; there's a pub - it's called The Jobcentre and The Guardian don't like it; bicycle seats on planes; Kirstie Allsopp takes a saw to a tea chest; and two shimmering tracks are shuffled on to the Pretend iPod.

In which we have little sympathy for Robin Thicke; wonder if we need Digital Eagles; calculate losses at The Guardian; watch a lot of television; and add two raucous tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we ponder the importance of balloons in day-to-day life; Dolly at Glastonbury; the changes afoot at 5Live & Absolute Radio; review ITV's 'The Betrayers' & add two sweltering tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we covet misanthropy; go Yo; consider crime on social media;  the lengths paparazzi will go to get a photo; review 'Police Under Pressure'; and add two arresting tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we babble on about BBC Music Awards; grammar; YouTube; festivals; the Culture Show; and add two punchy tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we try and locate Scotland; consider gnomes joining the police; worry about who is advising Ed Miliband; referee between cabbies and Uber; chat with Andy Bell about his new project; and add two boisterous tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In a special edition Magnus Shaw and Terence Dackombe discuss and decide upon their favourite 'things'.

In which we light up with 1D; consider Rupert Murdoch's buttocks; watch Alex Salmond miss a penalty; worry about the driver-less car; watch Mods & Rockers throw deckchairs; and add two sunlit tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we muse upon The Sun's World Cup giveaway; consider what's wrong with Marks & Spencer; don't listen to Coldplay on Spotify; stay in a Premier Inn with the BBC; review 'The Island'; and add two scrumptious tracks to the Pretend iPod.