The Parish Counsel

In which we go to Iceland; discuss the similarities between Prince & Caitlin Moran; say goodbye to the iPod; say hello to LBC; disagree about CBB but agree about The Jump; and add two twerkingly hot tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we polish François Hollande's shoes; suggest no news is good news; kick it out with Stan Collymore; stand bail for Bieber; and add two zippity tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we buy a Hudl and return it; consider whether it is Monsieur Hollande's own affair; take it to the bridge with Chris Christie; review House Of Fools; and add two emotive tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we consider life as a celebrity; drink a cup of Waitrose coffee; buy a copy of the Guardian (on Saturdays only); slow down for a moment; review Benefits Street; and add two ace tracks to the Pretend iPod.

In which we contrast Keith Vaz with Sarah Teather; advise Gary Barlow to take a holiday; ignore Kirstie Allsopp's guidance; watch Birds Of A Feather; and add two corking tracks to the Pretend iPod.