The Parish Counsel

Tesco's bakery, outsourcing your job, the social media addict test, Twitter and TV, and the ITV rebrand. They tell me people find this stuff interesting. 'They' being these two waffle-merchants. I'll bet there's that pretend iPod too ...

Through the icy wastes two lonely figures trudge, their steps leaving dark trails in the whitened ground. On the freezing wind is heard talk of  the HMV sale, Blockbuster, Jessops, the HAPIfork, Trevor McDonald and the Pretend iPod. They're not coming in here with those mucky boots, I can tell you.

Snow's coming, they say. Just my luck to get stuck in a blizzard with these two, gobbling on about punk cafe scams, HMV, World In Action, smart forks and that iPod thingy. Bring me a shovel, quick!

A new year and a whole new start. I've promised myself I'll no longer put up with a lot of  prattle from those two old buffers ... excuse me, that's my phone. Hello? Wrong planets? The Guardian? Parties? Charlie Brooker? Pretend iPod? It's you two isn't it? Arghhhh ....!!